Say "Thank You" and Mean It!
Why is it that far too many women (and some men) can't seem to accept any compliments? You could be stylish and amazing, brave or brilliant and still somehow hearing that you look pretty or gave a great speech or wowed the C team leads to stammering protestations, instead of a confident thank you.
The New Year can feel incredibly daunting; what with trying to lose 20 lbs., shut off your smartphone at meals, cut down on sugar, lose the old frenemies and otherwise make resolutions that will be nearly impossible to keep.
I'd like to offer a simple solution to feeling better about yourself in the New Year without changing yourself—simply learn to hear and not deflect the kind words people tell you. Your mom was right to tell you to say thank you. Acknowledging a nice thing can make you feel better about yourself.
The next time someone offers praise on a job well done, own it. Say thank you and feel free to tell them (briefly) about all the extra hard work that went into it.
The next time you're at a party and someone says that you look great or look like you lost weight, don't feel the need to correct them. Even if you're still schlepping around those extra slices of pumpkin pie on your midsection, find a way to allow the positive aspects of that compliment to penetrate your inner self. Say thank you and allow yourself to feel admired instead of feeling the need to correct their misconception.
And while you're at it, if a co-worker is wearing cute shoes or if the guy at the supermarket throws in an extra blood orange, allow yourself to compliment them on their great taste or generosity and acknowledge and admire without feeling self-conscious.
Keep at it and soon enough people will smile seeing you coming, knowing your confidence can add to their own confidence boost. And allow yourself to revel in someone else's admiration for a moment, instead of immediately beating yourself up about the things that people probably don't even notice.